As previously mentioned, the first month I owned my cozy abode, I wasn’t in Vancouver. A desperate and destitute friend—needing a temp place pronto—moved in with her three pups. Did I mention three dogs are not permitted in my building? Did I mention I’m a cat person? The second month that I own the place […]
A Serious Case of the Sads.
Since I haven’t written in what seems like forever, I’m going to have to just sum up. I’ve gone through a shit storm of sadness with people I love dropping like flies. I can’t tell you any more than that because it involves others who are private and don’t want people to know what’s going […]
Death, Dating … Dominatrix? I Am Disturbed.
Facetious Financier wouldn’t tell me how he got the photo of my butt, but it was posted on Facebook for a while because I was in the midst of my midlife crisis at the time and, well, why not, right? I was already on my way out of real estate at that point―at least mentally―so […]
How To Get Skinny Fast. (Not “Skinny-Fat”)
I Lost 10 Pounds. Start Skinny Shaming Me! Okay, so far no one has skinny shamed me—to my face! But I’m sure it’s going to happen any day now because I’m getting skinny again, ya’ll. What’s the magic potion? Well, technically I’m not allowed to call it “magic” or “fat cure” or “God-in-a-bottle,” but I […]
Project: 50 First Dates aka Wanna Date Me?
Wanna Date? Shut. The. Front. Door! Project 50 first dates? Master Dater??? So, here’s the dealio. In case you’ve forgotten, I am now a (self-)certified Dating, Love and Relationship Coach—Expert! I mean, why not, right? I’ve studied love and relationships for years! Yes, because, like a mechanic’s broken down car, my own love life was […]
Facelifts and So Forth
What To Consider When Considering Cosmetic Surgery. Anxious and waiting—and possibly oozing beneath the mummified bandages—in the private clinic of a plastic surgeon’s office spotlighted by fluorescent lights … Me: The swelling isn’t that bad. Marilyn: I don’t know. I have no one to compare it to. I don’t know anyone who’s had a facelift […]
Flirting & Master Dater ShenANNAgins
How To Meet Single Men In Vancouver.. Or Not. A girl friend and I are strolling by a hole-in-the-brick-wall mysterious venue in Gastown when a tall, not unhandsome guy in retro military gear asks us, “Are you into fetish parties?” An army green 1940s BMW cafe racer with matching camo sidecar is parked beside this […]
What’s Wrong With Me??
This Blog Has Nothing To Do With Lesbianism And That’s Why I Changed The Title Y’all. (Just roll eyes and keep reading…) He’s got one latex-gloved finger deep in my mouth and the other stuck in my ear. I mumble something unintelligible, and he pulls his spittle-covered finger out of my mouth with a twist […]
And Then I Moved To Vancouver. I Think.
Episode One: The Silver Fox I flew over on Harbour Air. The water-landing five-seater delivered me from the harbour of my adulthood hometown to the harbour of downtown Vancouver. Forty minutes and 25 pounds of luggage, and I’m in the “big city.” The intention was to stay at a girl friend’s place while she is […]
Born-Again Virgin Seeks Semi-Chauvinist And Meaning Of Life. Or A Job. P.S. Vagina.
I’m at The Broken Spoke, an espresso-slash-bicycle shop. It reminds me of Deus Cafe in Venice, California, only Deus has pricey cafe racers and low quality coffee. The BS has affordable pedal bikes and rich, delish espresso. As a California-converted coffee snob, I now drive across town (seven minutes) for the best stuff: thick as […]
