Back in Canada, in my adulthood hometown, I thought for sure I would need to turn to mind-altering-slash-life-numbing substances. Maybe not right away—summers are lovely here—but perhaps by autumn and definitely by winter when day”light” (daygray) hours are from 8:00am to 4:30pm. But a funny thing happened. I drove home from Los Angeles, made record […]
Hipsters, Crazies And Coffee.
I’ll Miss You, Too, La La Land … The Hipsters While “researching” this “article,” I sent an email to a gay, as in homo, as in homosexual homo-sapien—who I call J’Mo (his first name starts with J and, well, you get the rest). Anyway, I asked him how to tell the difference between a gay […]
Let’s Talk Razor Burn.
…Because Then She Shaved My Face… If you want a detailed list of the cosmetic procedures I’ve done to look baby-face fresh, you’ll have to read my memoir. Or at least skip to that chapter. Oh wait, details are sprinkled throughout. In that case, feel free to skim-read—though, you would be missing out on plenty […]
My Butt Has Fallen And It Won’t Get Up.
What Do You Call A Dinasour With A Stressed Rump? Mega Sore Ass. First off, if you call me a dinasour you gonna get word-whipped. Second, even though it’s not technically a middle-age birthday for me on May 24th (I hope, and, thank you), some days I do feel old. And, third, yes, I am […]
Shit Happens. And Then Sometimes It Doesn’t.
Well, darlings, even though I’m not scheduled to depart this La La Land of debauchery for another couple weeks, I’m already in the mindset of meandering north. Back “home.” Where is home to a searching gypsy-hearted soul? Not only don’t I have a nest of my own to go back to—despite desperately searching MLS listings […]
Ms. Jenner aka No More BJ(s)
Mr./Ms.? How Do You Address A Transgender Person Who Hasn’t Transitioned Yet? Caitlyn Jenner Vanity Fair former Bruce Jenner I didn’t watch the Diane Sawyer interview because I don’t have TV. Also, I only have limited Wi-Fi at home. One of these days, I’ll go to the library and watch it, but for now I […]
Top 5 Reasons Why #Freethenipple Is Total Anti-Feminist BS
Exposing Ourselves in Public. Free the Nipple There’s this nipply thing going around the internet these days, and it’s hashtagged freethenipple. Basically, it’s a feminist movement (and movie) lobbying to allow our lovely lady bits (nip bits, specifically) to be released from their prison—our clothing: tit-slings (bras), wife-beaters, tube tops, and sweater-stretchers—you name it, anything […]
Deja Vu: The Mid-Life Weary-Go-Round Crisis.
What To Do When We Don’t Know What To Do. Warning: F-bombs. Yes, my vagina is fine, thank you for asking. A little lonely perhaps, but isn’t everyone? I decided to write this blog sober (but not somber) because I’m in a coffee shop, and the baristas don’t take well to drunkards stumbling around asking […]
Me a Rewrite
From Vanity Insanity to Self-Acceptance (Sort Of.) “Consistently bold, shocking, and hilarious. Readers looking for a laugh won’t be disappointed.” — Kirkus Reviews Anna Jorgensen does what many of us have dreamed of doing: she escapes her life. In an entertaining collection of vignettes, this beige-on-beige, buttoned-up, uptight top realtor of twenty years ditches small town Canada and […]
Two Words: Bionic. Vagina.
Taking Charge Of Urinary Incontinence aka Leaky Bladder. Before we get to female aging and bodily disfunctions… One: I apologize. I apologize for not writing for so long. I’m sorry. I’m Canadian so I’m always sorry. It’s in our nature. And yes, I am grouping all Canadians into this friendly-nature-and-polite-apologizing generality. So sue me. (Um, […]
