How To Meet Single Men In Vancouver.. Or Not. A girl friend and I are strolling by a hole-in-the-brick-wall mysterious venue in Gastown when a tall, not unhandsome guy in retro military gear asks us, “Are you into fetish parties?” An army green 1940s BMW cafe racer with matching camo sidecar is parked beside this […]
What’s Wrong With Me??
This Blog Has Nothing To Do With Lesbianism And That’s Why I Changed The Title Y’all. (Just roll eyes and keep reading…) He’s got one latex-gloved finger deep in my mouth and the other stuck in my ear. I mumble something unintelligible, and he pulls his spittle-covered finger out of my mouth with a twist […]
And Then I Moved To Vancouver. I Think.
Episode One: The Silver Fox I flew over on Harbour Air. The water-landing five-seater delivered me from the harbour of my adulthood hometown to the harbour of downtown Vancouver. Forty minutes and 25 pounds of luggage, and I’m in the “big city.” The intention was to stay at a girl friend’s place while she is […]
Born-Again Virgin Seeks Semi-Chauvinist And Meaning Of Life. Or A Job. P.S. Vagina.
I’m at The Broken Spoke, an espresso-slash-bicycle shop. It reminds me of Deus Cafe in Venice, California, only Deus has pricey cafe racers and low quality coffee. The BS has affordable pedal bikes and rich, delish espresso. As a California-converted coffee snob, I now drive across town (seven minutes) for the best stuff: thick as […]
Spirituality and Skinny Dipping.
Back in Canada, in my adulthood hometown, I thought for sure I would need to turn to mind-altering-slash-life-numbing substances. Maybe not right away—summers are lovely here—but perhaps by autumn and definitely by winter when day”light” (daygray) hours are from 8:00am to 4:30pm. But a funny thing happened. I drove home from Los Angeles, made record […]
Let’s Talk Razor Burn.
…Because Then She Shaved My Face… If you want a detailed list of the cosmetic procedures I’ve done to look baby-face fresh, you’ll have to read my memoir. Or at least skip to that chapter. Oh wait, details are sprinkled throughout. In that case, feel free to skim-read—though, you would be missing out on plenty […]
Two Words: Bionic. Vagina.
Taking Charge Of Urinary Incontinence aka Leaky Bladder. Before we get to female aging and bodily disfunctions… One: I apologize. I apologize for not writing for so long. I’m sorry. I’m Canadian so I’m always sorry. It’s in our nature. And yes, I am grouping all Canadians into this friendly-nature-and-polite-apologizing generality. So sue me. (Um, […]
A Frank Conversation about Sexual Preferences: Anything Goes between Consenting Adults.
Boracay Beach, Philippines Blog Nine. We’re at Nigis, and he’s showing us risqué photos on his iPhone of the Lady-boys he’s been with. Wait, let me “back up” a bit. (And forewarn My Little Mom about the adult content of this blog.) Earlier (like fifteen minutes ago) … I’m at Nigis. Blue Eyes is here […]
Filipino Massages—Not Always About the Happy Ending.
Boracay Beach, Philippines Blog Eight Blue Eyes recommends Eden (real name), a masseuse who works near Nigi Nigi, a location which is extra convenient if one needs a nap before or after happy hour. My Boracay Beach massage experiences thus far: The Texter Eden wasn’t available when I arrived—no appointment necessary—so I went with another […]
How to Build the Best Booty Everrr—Strap And Zap That Ass!
Boracay Beach, Philippines Blog Six. In the change room, I remove all my clothing and under-gear and put on the men’s size large, black shorts and t-shirt, which is not all that loose on me and clings to my pert nips. Back in the zapper room, he spritzes me all over with water and then […]