I Lost 10 Pounds. Start Skinny Shaming Me! Okay, so far no one has skinny shamed me—to my face! But I’m sure it’s going to happen any day now because I’m getting skinny again, ya’ll. What’s the magic potion? Well, technically I’m not allowed to call it “magic” or “fat cure” or “God-in-a-bottle,” but I […]
Facelifts and So Forth
What To Consider When Considering Cosmetic Surgery. Anxious and waiting—and possibly oozing beneath the mummified bandages—in the private clinic of a plastic surgeon’s office spotlighted by fluorescent lights … Me: The swelling isn’t that bad. Marilyn: I don’t know. I have no one to compare it to. I don’t know anyone who’s had a facelift […]
Let’s Talk Razor Burn.
…Because Then She Shaved My Face… If you want a detailed list of the cosmetic procedures I’ve done to look baby-face fresh, you’ll have to read my memoir. Or at least skip to that chapter. Oh wait, details are sprinkled throughout. In that case, feel free to skim-read—though, you would be missing out on plenty […]
My Butt Has Fallen And It Won’t Get Up.
What Do You Call A Dinasour With A Stressed Rump? Mega Sore Ass. First off, if you call me a dinasour you gonna get word-whipped. Second, even though it’s not technically a middle-age birthday for me on May 24th (I hope, and, thank you), some days I do feel old. And, third, yes, I am […]
Training for the Annapurna Circuit aka The Build-A-Butt Plan.
Boracay Beach, Philippines Blog Five. As mentioned in a previous Boracay-series blog, I’m here on this relatively flat and tiny isle of paradise as part of my “training for the Himalayas” hike next month. —This just in: Almost Forty Die in Avalanche on the Annapurna Circuit. A moment of sadness and prayers for their loved […]
Vanity Insanity – Just to be Clear(-Skinned), I am Still Vane
There’s a dichotomy in me. I blame it on TV. Actually, more on TV commercials. And fashion/health/beauty/cosmetic-procedure(!) magazines. And Internet and mannequins in store windows—and my memories of all these things that are indelibly inked in my mind from years of subjecting myself to them. Silly-ass girl. (By the way, if/when you read my memoir, […]
Daring Greatly with TMI!
I just read Brené Brown’s book, Daring Greatly, which was recommended to me recently and which I’ve been meaning to read for a while. It’s about vulnerability, shame, guilt, connection. Basically, Brown writes that allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is courageous not weak like so many of us seem to think. We all fear vulnerability […]
Using the “C” Word in Public—(And the “F” Word in this Post)
Warning: This blog contains a lot of the following swears: Fuck and cellulite. I haven’t had a dose of vanity insanity since I had shit put in my chinny chin chin back when I’d first arrived in Los Angeles, home of the overdose of overdone. A Doctor Yummy in Beverly Hills put out a Groupon […]