Boracay Beach, Philippines Blog Nine. We’re at Nigis, and he’s showing us risqué photos on his iPhone of the Lady-boys he’s been with. Wait, let me “back up” a bit. (And forewarn My Little Mom about the adult content of this blog.) Earlier (like fifteen minutes ago) … I’m at Nigis. Blue Eyes is here […]
Waning And Waxing aka How Many Aestheticians Does It Take to Wax One Pussy?
Boracay Beach, Philippines Blog Three. Pussy1: Slang for vulva—because technically, anatomically, vagina is only the inside bits. And the next thing I know, there’s another Filipino female (I hope) checking out my Sasquatch Snatch. Sasquatch Snatch: AJ slang for hair pie, which be regular redneck slang for hairy va-jay-jay, which is simple slang for uncoiffed-overgrown-I’ve-been-single-and-celibate-for-over-a-year […]
Just What Category of Sex ARE We Agreeing To?
From the time I was 21, I’ve gone from one serious, committed relationship to the next with nary a breather in betwixt. Oh sure, a couple of times between those relationships I tested the sheets with a few non-relationship fellows—I think that’s common nowadays and, even if not, that’s what I did as part of […]
Using the “C” Word in Public—(And the “F” Word in this Post)
Warning: This blog contains a lot of the following swears: Fuck and cellulite. I haven’t had a dose of vanity insanity since I had shit put in my chinny chin chin back when I’d first arrived in Los Angeles, home of the overdose of overdone. A Doctor Yummy in Beverly Hills put out a Groupon […]
Bush Waxing: Tips to Get Through Your Fanny’s Forest
August. “Bush, bare or landing strip?” It seems like the most appropriate introductory question to ask a patio of a dozen men and women in their late 30s and 40s, most of whom I’ve just met. I’m at a friend of a friend’s house gathering and am preparing to go to an outdoor music event. […]
Alberta Beef Makes Me Horny
July. After a blow out with my family over (my) shit that needed to be dealt with (long time coming, will skip details but write sappy, dark, wrist-slashing prose later), I run away to recover a.k.a. calm my raging temper. Said temper, by the way, sends cortisol through my system leading to belly fat which […]
Poked and Prodded – Physically, Metaphysically
March. Poked and Prodded Part 1: Physically Me: “So I’ll just take my shirt off?” Him: “Leave your bra on.” Me: “It’s a workout top.” Him: “Put the straps under your arms.” Me: “Okay … but not the sweat pants, right?” Him: “Yes, take those off, too.” Me, avoiding eye contact: “But I haven’t shaved […]
How to Stay Single and Save the Planet: Don’t Shave Your Bits
March. Nary a hair (make that hairs) hath hastened my journey to self-accepted (and decidedly steadfast) singledom than these unsightly sprouts springing forth on my wild and wintered legs. Was it the holistic hippy retreat, the brisk Canadian cold (first official day of spring and it’s snowing) or the “I’ll never move back to (small […]
