This is my personal blog. An open diary, if you will. So, you get all of me—the good, the bad, the ugly crying.
Warning: I’m cranky.
But first let’s start with the good…
The water leak in my bathroom that damaged the suite next door and the lobby of my condo—and wasn’t covered by my insurance at a cost of $7,000—is now fixed.
And because that was so much fun I’ve decided to dip further into my line of credit to do a renovation on said bathroom.
And what the heck, the contractor will be here anyway, so let’s do the kitchen, too.
Because I don’t have time or energy to deal with this, I hired a designer.
Which leads us to the less good…
Wet: Tears, as in Crying
I don’t want to get into the nitty gritty because it’ll only make me grit my teeth more but suffice it so say I wish I hadn’t started this project.
But, like so many couples in bad relationships or bad businesses, who’ve thrown good money after bad, I’m too invested to quit now.
I’ve spent money on too many items and services now to not follow through.
“It’ll only take two weeks” has turned into “you’ll need to find a place to stay for at least 6-8 weeks.”
But this is my own fault. I knew better—heck, I was married to a contractor!
I’m assured I’ll be happy in the end and I’m sure I will.
And then I’ll move.
To a quiet location.
Probably needing a renovation.
Whyyyy do I do this to myself?
But let’s get back to some more good news…
I didn’t want to go on testosterone therapy so my doctor suggested steroids.
What could go wrong with that?
But, seriously, I’m on steroids! Well, just one: Cortef. (Brand name.)
It’s a low low low dose that shouldn’t cause me to grow a beard, penis-clit or start sounding like James Earle Jones.
After only a week, I already notice a difference in energy!
What’s that? Why a steroid?
Because I’m not producing enough cortisol.
The adrenal glands produce cortisol and you need cortisol for energy and my adrenals are so taxed out, they’ve gone on strike.
When I had my hormones tested over a 24hr period, my cortisol was low by early afternoon.
Cortisol is supposed to be high in the morning and taper out after dinner as you get closer to bedtime.
So, for me, in brain and body, 1-2pm feels like 7pm does for most cortisol healthy people.
Therefore, 5pm feels like 10/11pm.
I tired, Boo.
The plan is to give my adrenals a holiday and in a few months see if they want to come back to work.
So, Coref it is. For now.
And so far, I feel alert and alive all the way til dinner!
I don’t know how long this will last but I’m ecstatic.
There are so many things I haven’t been able to do because of low energy. I talked about what that feels like in this blog (scroll down).
I do not want to become a workaholic, again—even if I can.
I did that in my last career (see memoir) and that’s part of what created my whole body and brain burnout.
Hashimoto’s Disease & SIBO
I still have Hashimoto’s Disease and my numbers there are getting worse not better, but perhaps the Coref will help.
I still have SIBO and my numbers are worse there, too. Grrr, so frustrating! (Probably because of reno and “email” stress.) But at least my symptoms don’t seem as bad as before.
Note: getting rid of SIBO is still important because of the ripple effect on Hashimoto’s et al.
I’ll be tested for heavy metals again soon. Will inform.
I prefer not to focus on this stuff because what you focus on grows!
But, it’s also a reality of my life and affects me every day and is limiting in so many ways.
Most people take their health for granted—I sure did—and don’t understand what I go through.
- I’ve lost friends who’ve gotten tired of me being too tired to follow through on plans.
- I’ve lost income by not being able to do as much as I’d like to in my business.
- I’ve lost experiences I’ve been physically unable to do. #TheElCaminoTrail #HeckEvenADayHike #HeckAnyHike
But I’ve also gained insight, life balance and gratitude for what I do have.
And I’ve learned to set boundaries.
That was the toughest.
Speaking of which…
I love you and…
…don’t email me.
I love you but please don’t email me.
I finally removed my Contact Me pages everywhere, because people either didn’t read the fine print or ignored it.
Fine print: There is only one of me and thousands of you, please post your thoughts in a short public comment not in an email.
You read this whole blog but few read (or respect) the couple lines of restrictions and provisos on my Contact Me page.
Everyone needs attention and everyone is special to me and I have sincerely loved reading your personal messages, stories, and words of support… but there’s only one of me and thousands of you.
Please, for the love of Pete (who, apparently needs a lot of love) and respect of my physical and mental health, don’t email me.
And if you want me to read your public comments, keep them bite-sized not book-sized, otherwise, again no promises.
Even though I’ve got twice as many YouTube subscribers as a year ago, I’m not making more money (see graph), which I’m okay with but it also means I cannot hire an assistant to manage my ever increasing number of emails. (Not that I’d want to, anyway, that doesn’t feel right.)
(However, of course I’m available to Wingmam program participants for questions about my courses.)
Benefits Include… (Might! Might Include!)
Hopefully, I’ll have enough extra time and energy to answering more SHORT public comments and maybe (maybe!) even finally be able to finally produce more than one video a week.
If you’ve read my blogs for awhile, you know I feel terrible disappointing people!
At this juncture, it’s either my mental health or yours and I won’t be any good to anyone if I burn out in this business, too.
Thank you for understanding!
Also, I apologize. I didn’t mean for this to turn into a Wingmam/business blog.
Actually, I take my apology back.
This is my personal blog and I’ll write about anything I want to. You don’t have to read it.
Right, right. Real me. Sometimes, you get the cranky side.
And in case you’re thinking I’ve got ‘Roid Rage, nope, I was cranky before the Cortef.
I was just too overwhelmed and didn’t have the energy to sit down and set boundaries.
Joy to the world and God bless.
That is all.