Hot and Flashy (and a L’il Cranky)
I’m sorry to disappoint but hot and flashy doesn’t mean tight dresses with a lot of leg showing!
It means my bed is perfectly made when I get into it every evening shortly after a geriatric-ly early dinner and by morning it looks like a wild hyena slept in it.
Pillows, sheets and bedding are strewn in tornado-like fashion about the bed and room.
And my PJs have disappeared somewhere amongst the rubble.
I’m once again sleep deprived.
After turning 50, a switch was flipped and my body said, “Hang on, (old) lady, here we go!”
Being hot and flashy means waking up three or four times a night to toss the covers away followed by sweats that leave me chilled, shivering and searching for my MIA PJs.
I vacillate between fanning myself until the heat wave passes and clutching the covers over clammy cold gooseflesh.
I’m in a state of constant irritation from lack of quality sleep and putting on and pulling off layers throughout the day and night.
I’m doing my best to keep my energy uplifting and positive but my brain and body are working against me.
I decided against prescription testosterone (see last blog) and instead am going the alternative route with supplements.
It may take a few weeks to months to notice any significant improvements.
It may take less time for the wild yam (herbal supplement) to kick in and kick out these hot flashes.
Menopause is not for the faint of heart, my friends!
A friend who’s been through it (menopause) asked if I was “raging” yet.
Um, only at the state of the world, but pretty sure that has nothing to do with my hormones—though, come to think of it…maybe it does!
Just when you think things are getting better, that you’re getting closer to your (health) goals, that quality sleep is an assurance, there’ll be a setback. I guarantee it.
This is the nature of life!
So, you adjust course and recalibrate and continue on.
Keep calm and carry on, as the saying goes.
There’s only so much we can do so do what you can and don’t fret about the rest.
But since you read my last blog and may be curious about psychological blocking, here are my thoughts on that…
In a nutshell, our subconscious mind is there to protect us, and our control of it is largely (but not totally) out of our control.
But our subconscious mind isn’t rational!
Our subconscious mind contains distortions aimed at protecting us, but sometimes those distortions actually sabotage us!
I’ll use myself as an example:
Subconscious Protecting Me
“If you’re unhealthy, Anna Jorgensen Mexican Viking redhead empath, you won’t have to risk hurting anyone by rejecting them if they ask you out or worse after a date when their hopes are even higher.”
I mean, I can’t argue that. I. hate. hurting. others.
And, since there’s only one of me and more than one person has expressed romantic interest in me, there’s a guarantee of hurting or, at minimum, disappointing someone.
Given the oversharing in this blog, I’m still surprised I’m a wanted woman!
“If you’re unhealthy you won’t feel obligated to work more than you do; sickness helps you live a balanced life.”
Seriously, is it any wonder I haven’t been getting better. Being sick certainly has some benefits, people!
I was a workaholic in my last career because of my own and others’ expectations and I don’t want to do that again.
I want to work because I love what I do not because of expectation and obligation.
This part isn’t imaginary, I receive emails from well-intentioned viewers of my channel who want me to get better so I can produce more content. #pressuremuch
“If you’re unhealthy, Anna J, you’ll also have one fewer person you’ll have to potentially face the death of one day.”
While the death of My Little Mom broke me like no other event in my life, I also witnessed and felt both my sister’s and brother’s pain losing their long time loves.
I was there in the muck of it, witnessing the deterioration and that devastation for months. And its aftermath.
As an empath and HSP (highly sensitive person), I FEEL the emotions of others and the energy around me, and those were some iron clad emotions going round.
If you think rejection is bad, try losing someone who wanted to stay by your side loving you forever but couldn’t.
That shit is. the. worst.
So, yeah, there’s a high risk to love.
As in, there’s 100% chance you’re going to suffer. Really bad. Either you’re going to bite it first or they are.
Hot and Flashy Protection
So, given the stresses I’ve been though over the past several years, my subconscious is protecting me from further risk of devastation by keeping me sick.
Every time I get asked out—or even feel a man’s longing—and have to reject him, it reinforces my subconscious’ intent to keep me safe by keeping me sick.
Hint: Your subconscious is “helping” you by sabotaging you in your own ways.
I know, right?!
Fricken tricky subconscious mind!
I could take my own WakeUP2Luv course on how to rewire my mind.
But honestly, I know what needs doing (I created the course, after all).
I’m not ready to get over my aversion to rejecting someone or disappointing a lot of someones.
I’m not ready to get over my aversion to the expectations, commitments (obligations!) and the time required of a healthy person in a romantic relationship.
Being well also means feeling the expectation of doing more (work).
I like not being a workaholic!
(Pause for hot flash to subside… and no, I’m not writing this naked!)
I haven’t wanted to share this truth because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. (Obviously, I have a serious issue in this department.)
And, honestly, I didn’t want anyone to abandon my love advice teachings and YouTube videos.
My advice will still work for you if you want love. (Proof below!)
So, I say unto you, do as I say not as I do.
Someone asked me what they could do to help me.
I ask for you to not want anything from me.
Want translates into lack and I feel that disappointment.
Instead, please want something for me: healing and happiness.
Suggested prayer, “Thank you, Lord, for Anna’s complete healing and recovery! In Jesus’ name, amen.”
What we focus on grows.
Regardless of my subconscious’ good intentions, it’s been too long I’ve focused on lack of health instead of being healed.
I must believe I can be healed without experiencing the potential adverse affects that may bring (not satisfying others’ expectations of what my healing will do for them, and take away from me.)
As always, your thoughts are most welcome in the comments on this video.
I heart you and I really do want the best for you as is your Devine right.
I wrote my last blog just as I started taking the wild yam supplement and have only been taking them for about a week as of this writing but am happy to report night sweats are gone (!) and I’m waking up only a couple times a night with
hot warm flashes.
Praise God for wild yams! (And my Naturopathic doctor!)
Insert happy dance here.
God bless and thank you for your prayers!
Hot and flashy has left the building.