Just before we get to the closet bit, let’s rally through a point form update since my last blog, which was way too long ago.
Point Form Begins Here (Duh)
- After Eckhart in the Rockies, my memory is fuzzy, though I’m pretty sure I didn’t do magical mushrooms again, though I can’t be positive.
- End of point form.
So, I must’ve driven back to Calgary, because my bank tells me I paid rent there for another month, but my next memory is being back on “the island” — that be Vancouver Island for those of you who don’t know where “home” is for me, which honestly, I’m a nomad (noma’am?) and don’t really have a home, but for the sake of this blog and my longing for a home, we’ll call “the island” my home and, more specifically, “my sister’s place wherever that is” my ultimate home. I love my sister.
Where was I?
Oh, yeah, I went home!
Okay, so basically, last summer I spent the entire time managing the worse case of stress, anxiety and panic attacks I’ve ever had. Yes, ever.
In fact, I experienced the only panic attacks I’ve ever had.
It had to do with a rental property I own.
But now I can’t go into the details because y’all won’t feel sorry for me because I own a rental property and you think I’m rich, which I am, but only in personality.
So, suffice it to say, my sister saved my life. Now, I owe her mine. I’m pretty sure that’s how it works in West Indian or East Asian movies, which is probably politically incorrect, but everything is nowadays and how the hell else will you know what I mean?
Sheesh, people, stop being so sensitive, I’m trying to share my money woes for fuck’s sake.
Anyway, I had money woes.
Okay, perhaps more accurately, I had potential money woes, but that’s basically the same thing when you’re in a full on panic attack and your body is in full on fight or flight mode and doesn’t know the damn difference.
Moving along, after a couple of the longest months of my life, the situation was sort of resolved. “Sort of” because I knew it would come back to haunt me, which it has, but I needed it to be temporarily resolved so I could get back to partial sanity.
I moved back to Vancouver.
Look, Calgary was awesome, kids, I’ll give it top credit for cold AF, but also for getting me through what I now look back on and recognize as running-away-grief.
And since I’m a damn expert at running-away-for-anything, grief was as good a reason as any.
Vancouver has been a whirlwind of socializing and events.
And day jobbing. No, not night jobbing, which would be more like blow jobbing, but beggars can’t be choosers, after all.
Because of the aforementioned money stress, I decided I needed something, specifically income, sort of solid ish.
I imagined the perfect conditions for the perfect job: calling prospects, which is pretty much the main skill I excel at that might allow me to work fewer hours for higher pay.
So, I now have the perfect job!
It took a couple months of proving to the Boss Babe Lady that I could be trusted with more flexibly (which hours to work at the office) and greater freedom (some hours to work from home), but providing productive results, well, that results in trust.
Side Note: Boss Babe Lady is me. Not literally, but figuratively. She’s me when I was at the height of my career, hustle, intellect, physique, beauty, and basically everything.
By the way, I totally get how I used to be intimidating AF — my new thing right now is “AF” short for “as fuck.” Everything is perfect AF or funny AF or hairy AF or even fuck AF (I just made that one up) …
So, yeah, I was intimidating AF, but now I’m just me AF. #craycray
What’s happening with Wingmam, you ask?
Thank you, yes, that business is still there waiting in the background.
But with having a day job and social life, I haven’t had time or energy to counsel desperate single people (aside from friends and random strangers in bank lineups) or compromise my values by producing sleazy cheesy sales-pitchy pick up lines to sell my video course.
The funny thing — funny-haha-ironic and funny-peculiar — is that I love producing the dating advice videos and even though I haven’t produced virtually any since starting my job, the number of my subscribers continue to grow based on what’s already out there. (Over 250 videos. Not bad, AJ, not bad.)
However, I do want to get back to making videos and blogging, both for Wingmam and for NaughtyPotty, so I’m working on life balance.
Oh, also, my health still sucks.
Which I hesitate to say out loud (or write) because clearly I’m a powerful manifestor (hello, perfect jobby) and it’ll only perpetuate the situation, but too late now, it’s out there.
We interrupt this boring blog post to bring you — PERFECT HEALTH PERFECT HEALTH PERFECT HEALTH GERRY PERFECT HEALTH PERFECT HEALTH.
And now that we’re all caught up and I’m a mature and responsible adult working on adulting full time, I don’t know what I’ll write about.
I do still have bouts of silliness and random shenanigans, so I’ll either write about that or I can always use the back up: the lunatic thoughts rambling through my mind on a near constant basis.
Heck, people, give me some ideas! I’ll write about anything. I’ll shoot straight from my achy hip and leave no politically incorrect stone unturned.
That is my promise to you. Because I love you. And, quite frankly, I can’t believe you’re still here reading this rubbish.
Oh, you thought I’d forgotten about the coming out of the closet click bait rubbish I seduced you in with?
Here’s my short coming out of the closet story…
Because dealing with my rental property on the island took so long and my Vancouver condo — shut up, people — anywaaaaay, because my Van property was rented out, I moved in with a roommate, but it was after the first of the month so she’d had to get a temporary tenant for “my” room so I was housed in the closet. In actuality, I was housed in the former laundry room converted into a cubby hole cutie pie tiny room under the stairs, but the title, “Finally, Anna Jorgensen Comes Out of the Former Laundry Room Converted Into a Cubby Hole Cutie Pie Tiny Room Under the Stairs” was just too long, as I’m sure you’ll agree.
So, there you have it. Anna Jorgensen, still not gay even though I did pick up a lesbian that one time (not at band camp). Still single AF. But def definitely happy. For now. Ish.