My Purpose: Entertain, Inspire, Be Happy, Free Hugs!
 

Because Everyone Loves a Trip to the ER in the Middle of the Night

ER Stands for: Exciting Ride, Right? Riiight?Sister’s home, 3:00am My sister wakes me from a delta sleep by touching my toe. Like that projectile vomiting girl in The Exorcist movie, I sit straight up with a start and gasp. My sister’s expression tells me we’re going to the hospital again, but that the situation isn’t dire.Mom lives with my sister and has late stage lung cancer, which is totally unfair, because she quit smoking over 30 years ago. Cancer is unfair, like that.We've already lost one family member to cancer earlier this year. Like I said, unfair.We got the diagnosis for My Little Mom five months ago when she’d noticed a constant tickle in her throat. Since then, her lung...

Death, Dating ... Dominatrix? I Am Disturbed.

Facetious Financier wouldn't tell me how he got the photo of my butt, but it was posted on Facebook for a while because I was in the midst of my midlife crisis at the time and, well, why not, right? I was already on my way out of real estate at that point―at least mentally―so might as well throw on a dominatrix outfit and go parading around in public. (But it was Vegas, and I was one of a trio, so it wasn't like I was the only.) I would be deeply ashamed of myself for this―and several other escapades―except for the fact that I say shame on shame! Plus, my shenanigans inspire people; they know that they can redeem...

Shit Happens. And Then Sometimes It Doesn't.

Well, darlings, even though I'm not scheduled to depart this La La Land of debauchery for another couple weeks, I'm already in the mindset of meandering north. Back "home." Where is home to a searching gypsy-hearted soul? Not only don't I have a nest of my own to go back to—despite desperately searching MLS listings for heritage homes (read: dilapidated fixer-uppers with vermiculite) offering quick possession—but also, in the two months since I left Canada, my sister and brother-in-law decided to sell their place—where I had been staying—and are moving before I even get back. I'm just not sure four adults, two foster kids and a dog can fit in a three-bedroom townhouse. I could live in my...

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