My Purpose: Entertain, Inspire, Be Happy, Free Hugs!
 

And THEN I Became A Lesbian. Almost.

Almost, people! Almost!So I’m sitting at the take-out bar in Tacofino chowing down on a big-ass chorizo burrito and inadvertently eavesdropping on the convo next to me. I’m alone, so what else am I gonna do? Listen to the incessant thoughts roaming around in my mind? That’s been boring so far:Maybe I should go back and take the make-up class [at the swordplay school] …But the instructor had that big, ripe pimple in the crack of his nose. I’d be distracted by the it whole class.Like what if it exploded while I was in mid-thrust? I might accidentally impale myself.Besides, I’m halfway through this monster-sized meat snack. It’s not good to exercise on a full stomach, they say. Plus, if...

Spirituality and Skinny Dipping.

Back in Canada, in my adulthood hometown, I thought for sure I would need to turn to mind-altering-slash-life-numbing substances. Maybe not right away—summers are lovely here—but perhaps by autumn and definitely by winter when day"light" (daygray) hours are from 8:00am to 4:30pm.But a funny thing happened.I drove home from Los Angeles, made record time, enjoyed clear freeways, experienced no border-crossing wait and no ferry-boat wait. And all with perfect weather.But that's not the funny thing. (Funny as in funny-peculiar.)The odd thing is—(pause, breath)—when I drove off that old, familiar ferry-boat arriving on Vancouver Island, I felt happy to be home.Home.This is the first time in four years of returning to Canada after traveling that, one, I felt good about being...

A Frank Conversation about Sexual Preferences: Anything Goes between Consenting Adults.

Boracay Beach, Philippines Blog Nine.We're at Nigis, and he's showing us risqué photos on his iPhone of the Lady-boys he's been with. Wait, let me "back up" a bit. (And forewarn My Little Mom about the adult content of this blog.) Earlier (like fifteen minutes ago) ... I'm at Nigis. Blue Eyes is here along with an array of expats and tourists. I meet the aforementioned lady-boy lover. We'll call him Frank, because he is. He's been in the Philippines since 2006. He's a consultant—for whom I don't know—for finding missing persons with a hotel and hospitality background. And now he lives here. In Boracay. (Not at Nigis, though he is a regular.) Then Kite Boarder—aka flutter, swoon,...

Vacation Sex: What Happens In Boracay Stays in Boracay (And in This Blog).

Boracay Beach, Philippines Blog Four. I'm at Nigi Nigi Nu Noos "e" Nu Nu Noos with Blue Eyes. Nigis is one of the popular local hangouts for ex-pats and "white" tourists who have left their homes and native lands to travel to this exotic destination rich in culture—if poor in conditions—only to coagulate with their own flock in a beach bar with hot wings and cheap beer on the menu and Cheap Trick on the radio. I sit at the bar drinking bottled water (as I'm not much of a drinker) and observe the crowd while Blue Eyes chats with the bartender, who plunks down another Blue Eyes "regular" (as he is more of a drinker).It's relatively early. There aren't...

Not Fit To Be Tied (Up)

Black and white photos of nude women in (what I’d assumed was) bondage. With shadows subtly caressing creases and curves and with a contrast between colourless form and feminine softness, the obscurity of their faces only added to the allure—and, I admit, to my curiosity....

Bush Waxing: Tips to Get Through Your Fanny’s Forest

August. “Bush, bare or landing strip?” It seems like the most appropriate introductory question to ask a patio of a dozen men and women in their late 30s and 40s, most of whom I’ve just met. I’m at a friend of a friend’s house gathering and am preparing to go to an outdoor music event. They seem like open-minded (read: alcohol-consuming) folk, plus they’re friends of my friend, who is most certainly open-minded so that must say something. “Bush, bare or landing strip? I just Mach 3 razored my entire bush off, and I’m worried I’ll be walking funny later. Tips and reducing itch?” We go around the patio sharing our salon styling secrets and...

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