My Purpose: Entertain, Inspire, Be Happy, Free Hugs!
 

What's Wrong With Me??

This Blog Has Nothing To Do With Lesbianism And That's Why I Changed The Title Y'all.(Just roll eyes and keep reading...)He's got one latex-gloved finger deep in my mouth and the other stuck in my ear.I mumble something unintelligible, and he pulls his spittle-covered finger out of my mouth with a twist of his wrist as though twirling drippage from a just-poured bottle of wine.I swallow the accumulated saliva, clear my throat, stretch my jaw wide—activating a popping sound on my left side—and ask him, Did you hear that?He did.He waits with his hand in mid-air waiting for me to tell him whatever else I’m about to say.Me: Oh. Yes. No, nothing.But what I'm really thinking is how challenging it is...

Warning: (r)Aging Lady. Aches and Pains and Plaque. Damn It.

I’m laying face down, almost naked save for skimpy skivvies (that be slang for panties).Can you tell my ass isn’t balanced? I ask, lifting my head.Yep, this side is more developed, he confirms.Shit. I knew it. That’s not good for your neck. I put my face down. He continues.It’s not noticeable except that I’m touching it. He chuckles.The bedroom lighting is dim thanks to an adjustable light switch. I’m slathered in coconut oil. He can’t possibly see too much (I hope) while he kneads my gluteus maximus, which apparently is maxed out more on one side. This imbalance doesn’t bode well for OCD-me. I muffle this through the flannel sheet.It’s because of my damn hip injury way back whenever.He asks...

What’s Up Doc?—Certainly Not My pH! (Unease or Dis-ease)

May. After no holds barred à la boulangerie (French for “bakery”) in Paris whereupon I gained seven pounds in seven days despite excessive walking and ab workouts (coughing due to second-hand cigarette smoke), I’m sitting in my GP’s office with a point form list in my hand (my LMLotFM sits beside me: for comfort and as evidence). My list: Thermography and/or mammogram? (implants) Colonoscopy Lymphoma Kidneys Adrenals What did he [already] test my blood for? Tired—over a year! (at least since I became Vegan-demoted-to-Vegetarian) Swollen glands Bladder (cough/pee) Before he can finish his greeting, I’m out of the gate with, “I think I have lymphoma.” His brow furrows and he blinks several times and I wait for him to breathe...

 Showing 3 Posts