My Purpose: Entertain, Inspire, Be Happy, Free Hugs!
 

And THEN I Became A Lesbian. Almost.

Almost, people! Almost!So I’m sitting at the take-out bar in Tacofino chowing down on a big-ass chorizo burrito and inadvertently eavesdropping on the convo next to me. I’m alone, so what else am I gonna do? Listen to the incessant thoughts roaming around in my mind? That’s been boring so far:Maybe I should go back and take the make-up class [at the swordplay school] …But the instructor had that big, ripe pimple in the crack of his nose. I’d be distracted by the it whole class.Like what if it exploded while I was in mid-thrust? I might accidentally impale myself.Besides, I’m halfway through this monster-sized meat snack. It’s not good to exercise on a full stomach, they say. Plus, if...

Project: 50 First Dates aka Wanna Date Me?

Wanna Date?Shut. The. Front. Door! Project 50 first dates? Master Dater??? So, here’s the dealio. In case you’ve forgotten, I am now a (self-)certified Dating, Love and Relationship Coach—Expert! I mean, why not, right? I’ve studied love and relationships for years! Yes, because, like a mechanic’s broken down car, my own love life was in dire straits and needed some serious fixing. Crazy as it seems, I know a thing or ten thousand about people. But a mechanic doesn’t often get around to their own vehicle—until they have to. After giving love and relationship advice all these years, I figured I’d better start walking the talk. Yep. Luck favours the bold and brazen. (And crazy.) Here I...

Ms. Jenner aka No More BJ(s)

Mr./Ms.? How Do You Address A Transgender Person Who Hasn't Transitioned Yet? I didn't watch the Diane Sawyer interview because I don't have TV. Also, I only have limited Wi-Fi at home. One of these days, I'll go to the library and watch it, but for now I already know all I need. Jenner has a limited amount of time to run around totally topless before s/he's got to get on board with the rest of us females and fight for—or flee from—airing our areolas in public (see #freethenipple blog). Though, I feel that if s/he were to trapeze around bare-chested now, it would already be breaking the law. Not only has s/he acknowledged that s/he is transgender but also...

… And Then I Got a Fcking Motorbike! Almost.

So I’m driving all over God’s creation looking for a trophy shop to recycle these real estate and humanitarian awards (singular on the latter, I wasn’t that good of a do-gooder) because I’m trying to save the planet. But while driving around, I’m polluting the hell out of it and wasting a lot of high-priced petrol in the process. I finally pull in to a small strip mall in the light industrial part of my childhood hometown that has a dirt bike shop. I figure at least these guys will know what direction to point me in. Cut. To. Next. Scene.Two days later, I’m sitting in class for the technical in-class portion of the, yes, motorcycle course¹ I’m taking....

I Had a Dream … But You Don’t Have To.

Quick recap: Back in my small town in Canada I was a somebody. I had a high profile career and was very successful at it. After 20 years, many of the last of which were living in burnt out bitterness, I needed to make a change. But, I’d built up such an expectation of excellence within the community who knew me and a reputation built on ego and acclaim (and a closet full of expensive shoes), that leaving that life—and identity—wasn’t as easy as I’d thought: other people didn’t want me to (other professionals, clients).I burned out and wanted to fade away.All that time, energy and investment building up a career and community image only to want to escape it....

A Letter to My Dad... I Forgive You; I Apologize to You; I Thank You

Hi Dad, or should I call you Henry? It’s been so long I’m not sure how to address you anymore. I was looking at old photos the other day and thought of you. I wonder if you’ll get this, if any of it will register. Will it find you, wherever you are? I wanted to let you know that I forgive you. In fact, I forgave you a long time ago. I don’t know why I waited so long to tell you. Maybe I thought that somehow through the cosmos you’d simply know. Please read the full article here on elephantjournal! :) ...

Letting Go of the Edge of the Pool aka Damn You, Comfort Zone

A few days ago, I had an “a-ha” moment, one of those light bulb going off in my mind, but more like one of those movie spotlights that showcases some event and criss-crosses in the sky to be seen for miles—only to shine directly in my light-sensitive pupils. The “a-ha” told me, “It's time,” whereby I replied, “But I’m not ready.” And it said, “You'll never be ready, so do it now.” This little conversation in my mind was referring to separating my self from the old Realty-Lady me. I'm still getting heart palpitations just writing about it. Though I hung up my license over a year ago, my name and face have still been on 'my' team's...

From Bitter Broker to Broke and Happy—The Joy of Simply Waking Up

The other day I’m on my way to a vintage clothing shop (read: second hand), and I see two fellows on the bus bench in front of the shop. They’re obviously homeless as evidenced by their grubby, layered frocks; mangy, matted hair; shopping cart of filthy blankets and extra, oversized army jackets; and the 2 litre bottle of cheap chardonnay they are sharing at 10am on a Tuesday morning. The fellow facing me has brown hair and glaucoma. He asks, “Can you spare some change?” I say, “Just a minute,” and go into the store, not wanting them to filch my cash, feeling paranoid they’ll steal my wallet and somehow out-shuffle me down the street. I enter the...

Daring Greatly with TMI!

I just read Brené Brown’s book, Daring Greatly, which was recommended to me recently and which I’ve been meaning to read for a while. It’s about vulnerability, shame, guilt, connection. Basically, Brown writes that allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is courageous not weak like so many of us seem to think. We all fear vulnerability in ourselves and seem to admire it in others. When someone dares greatly by expressing vulnerability, such as quitting their lucrative career to pursue their passion without any guarantee of success, people often admire that and label it courageous. I would like to add that there is no bravery without taking action in the face of fear (vulnerability). If you’re not afraid, it’s simply...

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