My Purpose: Entertain, Inspire, Be Happy, Free Hugs!
 

What's Wrong With Me??

This Blog Has Nothing To Do With Lesbianism And That's Why I Changed The Title Y'all.(Just roll eyes and keep reading...)He's got one latex-gloved finger deep in my mouth and the other stuck in my ear.I mumble something unintelligible, and he pulls his spittle-covered finger out of my mouth with a twist of his wrist as though twirling drippage from a just-poured bottle of wine.I swallow the accumulated saliva, clear my throat, stretch my jaw wide—activating a popping sound on my left side—and ask him, Did you hear that?He did.He waits with his hand in mid-air waiting for me to tell him whatever else I’m about to say.Me: Oh. Yes. No, nothing.But what I'm really thinking is how challenging it is...

Using the “C” Word in Public—(And the “F” Word in this Post)

Warning: This blog contains a lot of the following swears: Fuck and cellulite. I haven’t had a dose of vanity insanity since I had shit put in my chinny chin chin back when I’d first arrived in Los Angeles, home of the overdose of overdone. A Doctor Yummy in Beverly Hills put out a Groupon coupon for a discount on Botox and naturally, being a thrifty, responsible gal, I figured I was saving money, and face, by clicking Buy Now! (The fact that I wanted to meet the dreamy dermatologist had nothing to do with my decision. [Fib.] The fact that a Doctor who’s been on The View, Oprah et al. and who is offering Groupon does not go...

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