My Purpose: Entertain, Inspire, Be Happy, Free Hugs!
 

Because Everyone Loves a Trip to the ER in the Middle of the Night

ER Stands for: Exciting Ride, Right? Riiight?Sister’s home, 3:00am My sister wakes me from a delta sleep by touching my toe. Like that projectile vomiting girl in The Exorcist movie, I sit straight up with a start and gasp. My sister’s expression tells me we’re going to the hospital again, but that the situation isn’t dire.Mom lives with my sister and has late stage lung cancer, which is totally unfair, because she quit smoking over 30 years ago. Cancer is unfair, like that.We've already lost one family member to cancer earlier this year. Like I said, unfair.We got the diagnosis for My Little Mom five months ago when she’d noticed a constant tickle in her throat. Since then, her lung...

The Sh*t We Talk About At Family Dinners. Warning: TMI.

(TMI=Too much info!) As you may know, my sister-in-law had cancer last year and part of this year—until part of her was removed—but you’ll be happy to know that she still has her ass and she’s cleared for take off, as in cancer-free! I didn’t divulge too much back then out of respect and because, yes, even I have some couth—though not a lot because here we are! Indeed, My Little Mom (MLM) and sister shake their heads, while chuckling, and call me shameless. But now that my sister-in-law’s butt is the bomb again, no worries, I can talk shit again.Add to this, MLM, who has Crohn’s Disease, which is a bowel thing again, and yes, she’s had parts removed,...

What’s Up Doc?—Certainly Not My pH! (Unease or Dis-ease)

May. After no holds barred à la boulangerie (French for “bakery”) in Paris whereupon I gained seven pounds in seven days despite excessive walking and ab workouts (coughing due to second-hand cigarette smoke), I’m sitting in my GP’s office with a point form list in my hand (my LMLotFM sits beside me: for comfort and as evidence). My list: Thermography and/or mammogram? (implants) Colonoscopy Lymphoma Kidneys Adrenals What did he [already] test my blood for? Tired—over a year! (at least since I became Vegan-demoted-to-Vegetarian) Swollen glands Bladder (cough/pee) Before he can finish his greeting, I’m out of the gate with, “I think I have lymphoma.” His brow furrows and he blinks several times and I wait for him to breathe...

Family Matters, Health Matters: Mind Over Matters?

April. I went to my Metaphysical/Intuitive/Aura-reading/Psychic Shrink (MIAPS). Well, I didn’t tell you the whole story … MIAPS, reading my cards: “Mmm … karmic debt.” Me, concerned: “What? What is it?” MIAPS, sighing compassionately: “You’re here for the summer for your family.” Me, sighing relieved: “Ooh.” We’re both thoughtful for a moment. Me, resigned: “Okay. Then it’s okay. I’ll stay.” I’d told her how I’d figured out a way to get back to California earlier (as in right this minute) than my previously scheduled fall return. I had planned on applying for an easy breezy education course—you know, the kind where they overcharge for slack services in exchange for looking the other way should one miss a couple classes not...

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